Will: Hey mom, look! A bird on the ground! Why isn't it moving?
Me: Well, it's dead, honey.
Will: Forever?
Emma: Bird!!!
Me: Aaaaccck! Don't touch it!
Will: Forever, mom? Forever?
Me: Yep, forever. Ok, let's get in the car.
...........................
10 seconds later
Will: Mom? Remember that dead bird?
Me: Gritting teeth. Yes I do.
Will: Who killed it?
Me: Well, probably a cat.
Will: Did the cat scratch it too much? Or sit on it?
Emma: Kitty? Meow! Meow! Meow!
Me: Well, maybe. Or maybe the cat bit it really hard.
Will: Or maybe the cat stole the bird's heart beat?
Me: .......
Will: Or maybe the bird is actually sleeping and when we come back he'll wake up?
Me: Mayyyyybe...but I think that he is dead.
Will: Why isn't he in heaven?
Me: Anybody want a snack? Or maybe we could listen to some music? How was your day, Emma?
Emma: Good! Emma Good! Hi Mama!
Will: Why isn't the bird in heaven, mom?
Me: CRAP. Well, the bird's body is still here, but his soul is in heaven.
Disclaimer: We are not religious and have taught the kids precisely nothing about heaven.
Will: What's a soul?
Me: CRAP. Well, a soul is the part of you that thinks and feels and it kind of is like a ghost. That part of you goes to heaven and your body stays here.
Will: ......
Me: Who wants to sing Wheels on the Bus?
Emma: Emma sing! Emma sing!
Will: What is the bird's soul doing in heaven, mom? What is going to happen to the bird's body? Are the bugs going to eat it? Will a cat eat it? Will the bones go under the dirt like the dinosaurs? Can a cat eat the bird's wings? Do worms eat dead birds? Who will eat the beak? Does the bird's soul miss having his body?
Emma: The babies on the bus go wah, wah, wah!
Me: You know what Will, I think we should get some books about this. It is a very complicated subject and I don't know if I can answer all of your questions.
Will: Ok, mom. Sounds good. Why did that cat kill the bird?
Emma: Kitty? Meow! Meow! Meow!
Me: Head down on steering wheel, never so happy to be home in my life.
******************************
So...I need some good recommendations on books about death for kids. Will is almost 5, and VERY curious about the subject. I think I need books more on the line of science-y explanations as opposed to people feeling sad about death. I don't know if such books exist. Help!
This was really funny. I mean not for you, of course, but still. And if you find that book, please post about it because I have already struggled with how to explain death in a non-religious fashion.
Posted by: jen | June 09, 2011 at 01:11 PM
Have you read Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant? It is a wonderful, and comforting book, written especially for those children who have lost a beloved pet. But, it also does a nice job of explaining God's love for His creatures without being 'religious' or sappy. I highly recommend it.
Your son's questions, and your reactions, made me smile. I so remember the persistance, the hunger to know more, and often about subjects which are so subjective. I think you did a good job responding to him; afterall, books are the turn-to place, aren't they? :)
Thanks for visiting me today. I love your blog, too. Off to add you to my blogroll.
Posted by: Bellezza | June 14, 2011 at 08:55 AM
Thanks for the recommendation; we will definitely check it out. We've read other books by her and liked them. I have a feeling this is going to be a long journey for us on this topic. Which makes sense as a lot of people wrestle with it their whole lives. I feel shockingly unprepared. I guess I didn't realize that he would have so many detailed questions at such a young age. Also--I can tell he senses my hesitancy and uncertainty in answering his questions and he is like a shark scenting blood in the water...he is not going to let go!
Posted by: Kristin | June 14, 2011 at 03:02 PM
It's true; the more they sense our hestitating, the more they persist. Then, when they're twenty (as my dear son is) the tables are turned. I'll bet you can hardly wait, huh? :)
Posted by: Bellezza | June 14, 2011 at 05:13 PM