The boss

It may be hard to believe, but this sweet little face is basically the cause of all my problems. Nice, huh? Someday she will probably cite this post as the cause of all of her problems to her therapist, so I guess we'll be even. But until then...she has won.

I had no idea how difficult a toddler could be. N. and I look back on Will's infancy and toddler hood and laugh now at how easy we had it. We thought that our excellent parenting had produced a very sweet child. He ate everything, slept through the night starting at 9 months old, and in general was easy going, eager to please and a lot of fun to be around. If we told him not to do something, 9 times out of 10 he would stop doing it. We took him everywhere and he seemed game to try almost anything. We loved, loved, loved being parents. And, we thought we were pretty darn good at it. Just feed your baby what you love to eat and he'll learn to eat spinach and sushi and curry! Expose your baby to as much as possible so they develop an open mind! Let your baby cry a little bit in his crib and he'll quickly learn to sleep by himself! Can you hear my bitter laughter?

Then we had baby number two.  Emma was a sweet, content, sleepy little infant...as long as I (or sometimes N. ) was holding her. From the very start she made it quite clear that she didn't want anyone else to hold her, or in some cases, even be in the room with her. We thought her strong personality was pretty hilarious, particularly because she was so young and tiny. We called her our little misanthrope for the first year or so of her life. She still gives people the stink eye if she doesn't know them. But in general she was a happy and easy baby.

Then she stopped sleeping. My lovely little baby, who started to sleep through the night at 6 weeks old (exclusively breastfed! It was like a miracle!) decided to fuck with us when she turned around 7 months. She is now 22 months old, so the last 15 months have been notable mainly because I can't remember much of what happened in them, on account of the fact that I have averaged 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night (and very little of it consecutive). We have finally come to terms with the fact that the ONLY way any of us will get some sleep is if we lie down with her until she falls asleep, sneak out, and then bring her into our bed when she wakes up at some point in the night. Believe me, we have tried many, many other ways to ensure a night of sleep for our household and this is the best we can manage at this point. I never thought that I'd be a co-sleeper, but she has won.

She has also won the battle in the eating wars. I endured months of her spitting everything out that I spoon fed to her starting when she was five months old. Then, once she could feed herself she made it pretty clear that she was only going to eat a select few things. Trial and error has produced a menu that could be worse...yogurt, lunch meat (no other type of meat under any circumstances), cheese, most fruits, whole wheat toast with peanut butter, black beans, a few soups, and occasionally green beans. She refuses to eat anything that I have actually cooked. Which is annoying, because I really like to cook. I am trying to not take this personally.

Finally, she is a climber. She completely mastered the stairs in our home at 15 months. WALKING up and down the stairs. Her legs were so tiny that it seemed like it would be impossible, but she did it. By 17 months she could climb onto any couch or chair. At 18 months she learned how to climb/fall out of her crib. Now, at 22 months she can climb almost anything that Will at 4 and a half can climb at the playground. It is truly amazing to watch her, and of course, incredibly dangerous. In fact, she fell last weekend from a 7 foot high platform, straight on to her belly. We took her to the ER right away and thankfully, she is fine. I don't know if I will ever be fine after watching her tiny body plunge from that height and not be able to catch her in time, but I'm sure I'll get over it in time for the next calamity.

If I could sum up Emma in one word what would it be? Stubborn comes to mind. Independent. Smart. Agile. Adorable, luckily. THE BOSS, which is two words, but perhaps one word is too limiting for little Emma.

She just breaks my heart every day. She is so strong willed and sure of herself. N. teased me that I have such a hard time with her because she is just like me. I told him that he's crazy, but then I remembered when my first boss told me once that I had a healthy sense of self worth. I think it was a compliment. And I have a feeling that it will describe my daughter pretty accurately as she grows up too. She is hard to parent, but very, very easy to love.

 

Comments

[Marie]

What a picture :-) Love your blog btw and I'm so glad you left a comment on mine so I could come back and find you!

[Kristin]

Thanks! I am adding you to my blogroll. I am always looking for more to read, and you have great taste.